2 Kids Versus 1

Before Kaitlynn arrived, Jeff tried to tell me more than once how tough it would be to have 2 kids versus the 1 we already had. I, of course, being my stubborn self quickly argued this point and assured Jeff it wouldn't be that much more work because Connor was already pretty self-sufficient. Now that we are more than 6 weeks into having the 2nd kiddo, I'm ready to admit defeat, eat crow, swallow my own words. It is definitely harder having 2 kids versus 1. Jeff was right. There. Happy??

How and why is it so much harder? Well, let me try my best to illustrate.

Sleep: After a long night of being up with Kaitlynn, I can't just sleep in and catch up. I have a 3-year-old who is up at the first sign of daylight no matter how late he goes to bed. Many mornings I've had to give Kaitlynn a feeding at 5 or 6 am and just when my head hits the pillow to return to sleep, I hear a voice from the door calling out... "Mommy?" So then I drag myself out of bed thinking that surely I can get some sleep when Connor takes his afternoon nap. Wrong. After finally getting Connor down for his nap around 1 pm, guess who decides she is wide awake and wanting to interact? I spend some time with Kaitlynn and then give her a bottle in the hopes of stuffing her little tummy. Around 2 or 3 pm, she finally seems like she'll go down for a little snooze. So I swaddle her up, lay her down, and crawl into bed with visions of some much-needed Zs. A few minutes later, I'm well on my way to sleep when suddenly I hear a cry. Oops, Kaitlynn needs a new diaper. OK, I can take care of that. Now she seems wide awake again. I put her in bed with me and try to appease her with her pacifier. After 10-15 minutes of that, she is worked up and mad because she wants the real thing, not a passy. OK, fine. I'm up now. I give her another quick bottle, and this time I'm positive she's OUT! Phew! I lay her down, head to bed, and then... "Mommy?" Yep, Connor's awake now. Which means, so am I.

Errands: I am constantly trying to plan my days around the errands I have to accomplish with 2 kids in tow. I used to be able to get everything done with Connor in a single morning. Traveling with 2 is much harder. First I have to convince Connor of the need to run these particular errands (gas, groceries, Target, whatever). He feels the need for an explanation apparently. Then I have to make sure Kaitlynn is fed and burped before strapping her in the carseat. Usually I also have to give her the pacifier because she isn't too fond of car trips yet. So I pop Kaitlynn's carseat into the base, get Connor all strapped in, and we're off. Of course, it's not as simple as it sounds. It usually takes us at least 15-20 minutes to get out the door with everything we need (purse, diapers, wipes, bottles, burp cloth, etc.) and everytime we make a stop it's another 15-20 minutes to get in and out of the car with both kids all set. And heaven forbid we try to make too many stops or we spend too much time in the car, because Kaitlynn gets mad and will scream at the top of her lungs! I can sometimes reach back to her carseat to give her the pacifier but most of the time she just wants out of there. I've now learned that our threshold for outings is 1-2 stops or a maximum of 3-4 hours before we need to get home. And usually we all need a nap to recover.

Meals: Whether eating at home or eating out, it's a challenge. Having an extremely picky 3-year-old is hard enough. The only thing Connor wants to eat right now is corn dogs or chicken fingers. This kid won't even eat french fries or macaroni and cheese! Is that normal? I think not. Anyway, our first hurdle is finding something he will eat. I try to force him to eat what the rest of us are eating, but usually that ends in a battle of the wills (which in turn ends in time-out and a 2-hour marathon of whining until he finishes the tiny portions on his plate). Add to this a screaming, hungry baby and it's pure chaos. One of us always has to shovel our food to finish quickly so that we can feed Kaitlynn while the rest of us eat. If I try to cook a meal, I have to figure out how to manage with just 1 hand because the other hand is holding the baby. And this always makes me nervous if I'm using the stove or oven because I don't want to risk burning her. So it's a juggling act of putting her down, scrambling to finish a task before she starts wailing to be held, and picking her up again, all while answering Connor's incessant questions and heeding his "Mommy, watch this" episodes. It's a miracle if I can make a PB&J sandwich under these circumstances. If we try to eat out, we have the added complications of loading everyone up in the car and finding a place where everyone will be happy. And the attention span of a toddler and newborn is about 10-15 minutes before the meltdowns commence, which leads to more chaos and shoveling of food. Sound fun?

And let's not forget, half the time we actually have 4 kids under our roof. Mostly the teenagers are really helpful to keep Connor or Kaitlynn occupied. But many times it's like a tornado blows through everytime Collin and Kevin come over. I find socks, crumbs, and water bottles in all crevices of the house. And when the whole family is congregated in the living room, it's a constant barrage of "Dad, look at this" and "Dad, come here" and "Dad! Dad!" to no end.

So let me say again: Jeff was right, I was wrong. Is it hard? Absolutely.

But is it worth it? Without a doubt!