Traveling by Airplane

Our family travels at least twice a year by airplane, usually for our family vacation in the summer and our trip to Michigan for Thanksgiving. It is always an interesting experience. For our most recent trip to Florida, I thought I'd document our travel so I could look back and remember the insanity of it all.

We woke up on the first day of vacation and all got up early to head off to the airport. We have to stop for breakfast, usually at 3 different places but today we settled on 1. 6 people agreeing on 1 breakfast place -- that has to be a good omen for this trip, right?

We parked the car and boarded the bus that takes us to the airport. This is always the favorite part of traveling for the little kids -- riding on a bus without carseats!

We had to wait in an insanely long airport security line. Luckily Daddy and the teenagers are good at keeping the little ones happy.

Side note: don't move once you get inside the body scanners or you'll be subject to the rubber glove pat-down. Good times.

We boarded the airplane and I was feeling quite smug for being such a responsible and prepared Mommy. I reached into my bag-of-tricks for something to keep the kids occupied. First up, the markers, stickers, and coloring sheets. This ought to keep them busy until we're up in the air.

Wrong. 5 minutes later, we're stuck on the tarmac. Kids are SO over the markers. Time for the next trick. Snacks! But wait, where is the backpack with the snacks?

"Jeff, where is the backpack with the snacks?" I ask.

He points up to the overhead compartment. Uh, really? Clearly we did not think this through. The most important of my airplane diversions (food) is currently inaccessible due to the fact that the seat belt sign is turned on. Every single person on the silent airplane is listening to my 2-year-old beg for a snack that I already promised her, but I can't get to it without risking a conversation with an air marshall. After 15 more seconds of dealing with Kaitlynn's escalating cries, I decided I would rather face an air marshall than a meltdown. So I swiftly unbuckled my seat belt, opened the compartment, grabbed the snack backback, and was back in my seat. Snacks were now in my possesion so I was much calmer. Problem solved!

Wrong again. 10 minutes later, the snacks are done and we're STILL on the tarmac. Don't the pilots realize they are risking the sanity and well-being of their passengers by keeping my kids trapped on this airplane without electronic devices?

On to snack number 2. We're not even in the air yet and I'm running low on provisions. This is not looking good.

Finally, we're in the air. Phew! Electronic devices are now allowed (Praise the Lord) so I'm back to feeling confident that I can make it through this trip unscathed. When I unpack the DVD player and headphones, I notice that it's warm and is already on. Why is it on? Hopefully the battery is still OK?

Wrong. 5 minutes into the movie and the DVD player dies. UGH!! Why didn't I check to make sure it was OFF after I charged and packed it?! The kids are NOT happy and I'm back in panic mode trying to figure out how to keep them entertained for the next 2 hours.

I look over at Collin across the isle with sad, pathetic, puppy dog eyes while he's playing games on his new laptop. He offers to let the kids watch their movie on his computer. See, teenagers DO have redeeming qualities! The kids settle back in with their movie as the flight attendants offer us drinks. Another distraction is always a good thing.

I settle into my seat and start to relax a bit, right about the time when Kaitlynn decides she's done with the movie. I pull out the aforementioned markers and coloring sheets and she proceeds to color herself and her outfit a nice shade of kelly green. Then it's on to the stickers. She pulls off about 2 dozen of them until she's done with those, too. I reach back into my bag of tricks for snack number 3. She seems content with that as I wipe the sweat off my forehead. It's hard work keeping a toddler entertained.

I look over and see that the guys are catching a nap. How nice for them.

Kaitlynn and I then move on to the SkyMall magazine. She is obsessed with puppies and you wouldn't believe how many of the products in SkyMall have pictures of dogs on there. That's a lucky break for me. After exhausting that activity, I'm officially out of ideas. We have another hour to go on the flight and I'm tapped out.

Jeff wakes up all refreshed from his nap and it's now his turn. He takes Kaitlynn on a little "walk" up and down the isle of the airplane. That lasted about 2 minutes. Now what?

Somehow we make it and the plane is finally in descent. Bye-bye electronic devices and hello seat belts. Kaitlynn is back in her seat and not happy about it. I should also mention that at this point, my air sickness had begun to reach stage 2 (versus the stage 3 that sends me to the airplane restroom). Could've been worse, but I was still feeling pretty crummy.

I reach in my bag for my final trick of the trip, the "emergency" fruit snacks for both kids. There are only about 8 of those little gummy snacks in the packet and I'm wondering if I can somehow summon a miracle from heaven to make them go farther like Jesus did with the bread and the fish.

Thank the good Lord above, we finally landed in Orlando. I'm starting to feel a great sense of relief, except for the gnawing feeling in my head and stomach from being airsick. I needed a Coke and fast.

We entered the Orlando airport and Kaitlynn proceeded to touch every germ-infested surface in the entire place on our way to get our luggage.

I detoured to get my stomach-settling Coke and met the guys back at Baggage Claim. We met Jeff's brother Justin and walked to the car to load and drive to The Villages.

Only 1 problem. The rented carseats in the car had to be properly installed. This is where I step back and let Super Dad take over. I have a few good Mommy skills but installing carseats is not one of them. Jeff is normally the Carseat King but we managed to get the ones that were the least desirable with straps adjusted for a 100-pound adult. Why us? Also, for a family of 6 with 2 carseats and 4 guys over 6 feet, the rented SUV is a little tight. OK, a LOT tight. It's only an hour drive so we can manage, right?

After about 30 minutes of wrestling with the carseats in the parking lot with outside temperatures of 100+ degree heat, we were finally on our way out of the airport and on our way to Jeff's Dad's house. But wait, the teenagers are starving so we need to detour for fast food. A few sandwiches and orders of fries later, we're back on the road.

At this point, I'm praying Kaitlynn can fall asleep in her carseat so that she is a little more manageable when we get to our destination. Of course, in typical Kaitlynn fashion, she waits until we are about 5 minutes from the house and then passes out. We pull in the driveway and fall out of the SUV to greet Jeff's Dad. Kaitlynn pops up and is wide awake and ready to move.

We've just arrived and I'm already exhausted.